


In the Toilet

by SapphireMusings



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22414279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireMusings/pseuds/SapphireMusings
Summary: I got nothing . . . except it’s all Maisierita’s fault.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	In the Toilet

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooooooo . . . this is all Maisierita’s fault. She started rambling about Atlantis’ showers and how it’s fanon that they can be mind-controlled by ATAs. Then she postulated the following:
> 
> “If Atlantis was populated entirely by Ancients, and they had mind-controlled technology and could use it for things like showers and toilets, don’t you think they would use it for all showers and toilets? Mostly I had this funny idea of at the very beginning of the show, Rodney complaining about the freezing showers and Shep being confused because his shower is always absolutely perfect, like it’s reading his mind or something. And then that sparked the idea of mind-controlled toilets, and what a disaster that would be for the percentage of the population without the ATA gene. ;)”
> 
> And then I was driving home from work the other night, where Musey thoughts frequently trample over me and I find myself scribbling on anything available, including my hand, enough thoughts to hold it in my head until I get home. And suddenly, there were John and Rodney, going at it, in the first throes of friendship and bonding . . . ;)
> 
> Original Date of Publication: November 21, 2006.

_“Major!”_

Sheppard activated his earpiece, already suspecting what was coming. He’d only known McKay a short time but some things about the in-your-face astrophysicist were already becoming easy to anticipate.

“No, McKay.”

Sheppard waited for it. For the I’m-too-smart-for-you huff of exasperation and then, yup, here it came, the explosion of indignation delivered in the ‘you’re-an-imbecile’ blast of one Rodney McKay.

_“You don’t even know what I’m going to ask, Major. Now, as I was saying–”_

“No, McKay, I will not come flush your toilet for you.”

There was a long silence, long enough that Sheppard almost had enough time to recite _The Pledge of Allegiance_ , but just as he reached “and Justice for all,” he caved.

“You can come use mine if you want,” he offered magnanimously, making certain the magnanimity in his voice was over-the-top.

_“Your kindness overwhelms me, Major.”_

Sheppard grinned. McKay’s voice was dripping in sarcasm that for some strange reason he liked on McKay.

“Really,” Sheppard coaxed. “It’s free right now.”

_“I already used mine (you imbecile).”_

“Ya know, McKay, you might want to think about planning these things a little more carefully. You just can’t go jumping right in. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger.”

_“Ha ha ha,”_ Rodney said flatly.

“I’m telling you, you’re out on the frontier now. You’ve got to plan ahead for these things.”

_“Very funny. I suppose next you’ll be lecturing me on Tactical Approaches to Toilets in the Pegasus Galaxy_.”

“Can I use you for an example in class?” Sheppard asked eagerly, infusing brightness into his tone that was sure to grate on the other man.

The channel on the earpiece abruptly went dead, only to click immediately back on.

“No, McKay, I am not going to take a shower with you so you will have hot water.”

The silence from the other end was telling. Grinning, Sheppard went back to cleaning his gun. Life in the Pegasus Galaxy was looking up.

**SGA**

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this makes up for the Death!fic, which, you know, was just a dream anyway; it didn't really happen (sobs).


End file.
